Psychotherapy & Counseling
Psychotherapy & Counseling
Counseling services for children, teens and adult individuals, couples and families in St. Charles, MO. Bilingual psychotherapy.
Working together with Dr. Roth you will be able to embrace trust and optimism in your life and in your loved ones; reduce symptoms, build resiliency, make sense of conflicting situations, messages and roles. In other words, you’ll be able to feel better. If you are suffering from anxiety, depression, trauma or going through an agonizing change in your life. If you are simply not feeling well, you just made the right decision: looking for help.
Start riding the path to a joyful life.
Dr. Roth has experience working on body image and shame, marriage, grief and loss, anger management, self-esteem, gender, LGBTQIA, coming out, crisis, family issues, PTSD, difficulties at school or work, and many other things.
Roth Clinic is a place free of judgmental attitudes. It is a healing and working environment. It is a place to feel good, and from where to start creating a path for self growth. Adolescents, college students, couples, families, and of course individual adults have enjoyed the benefits of their healing journey. Make your life an enjoyable ride, too.
Contact Dr. Roth or call (314) 714-5227 for a consultation today.
- Trauma, anxiety and depression
- Low self-confidence, fear of judgment, self-image issues
- Loneliness, self-alienation and grief
- Self-defeating behaviors
- Abusive relationships and conflicts
- Couples’ relationships and divorce
- Many other things
Shame: Shame is a feeling of self-consciousness one feels in front of another person. It makes us feel that we are weak, defective or dirty. As a result, we may avoid doing something or going somewhere. It may be about only a part of our body (e.g., big/small breasts, old looking hands, etc.) or with the whole body. We may feel others don’t like us, or that we need to do something to be accepted.
Fear: Fear and anxiety are both like alarms signs that turn on to take safety measures. Fear is being afraid of something (e.g. dogs, darkness, speaking in public, etc.), this something is called the phobic object/situation. That is, in fear we know exactly what to look out for and where we might find it. We can quickly get prepared for such situation. We can avoid it, and we can feel safe when far away from it. A person that suffers from anxiety tends to worry about a variety of things continually. There is no one object or situation attached to anxiety. Thus we don’t know what or where to expect it. There are many types of fears. A rather common one is fear of rejection. People that suffer from fear of rejection often avoid having a social life. Avoidance might help little but, in the long run, it makes things even harder.
Anxiety: Social phobias, agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, PTSD, OCD are all different ways of suffering from anxiety. Anxiety is considered a normal reaction when is aroused by a realistic danger and dissipates when the danger is no longer present. If the degree of anxiety is greatly disproportionate to the risk and severity of possible danger, if this continues even though no actual danger exists, and if it is affecting the way your relationships with family, friends and at work, then it is time to ask for help. Call (314) 714-5227 and leave a message requesting an appointment
Trauma: Trauma is the Greek word for wound. In mental health, it means that a person has experienced a life threatening event in a direct or indirect way. There are many sources of, such as physical, sexual or institutional abuse, intergenerational trauma, disasters. These may induce a sense of powerlessness, fear, jittery, recurrent distressing memories or avoidant behavior in an attempt to suppress memories, thoughts, and feelings about the trauma.
Depression: is feeling blue, bored or empty most of the day. There is a loss of interest in activities that were usually enjoyable. Individuals with depression also present changes in eating or sleeping, low self-esteem, fatigue, poor concentration or difficulty making decisions, and feelings of hopelessness. Due to the high suicide risk, it is always recommended to seek professional help.
Guilt: Guilt is an emotion that most people learn during their normal childhood social development. It works like an alarm to let us re-examine our behavior, learn from it and avoid making the same mistake twice. Healthy guilt allows us to learn and move on. When we start obsessing about it with no lesson to learn and no way out of it, then guilt turns to be an unhealthy emotion. Our emotions can influence how we act and think. If we feel bad about ourselves, we usually withdraw from social life and use any excuse to corroborate our feelings. Be skeptical about your feelings of guilt, especially if there is no lesson in it. If this is affecting you, and your social, academic or professional functioning call (314) 714-5227 and start feeling better.
Personality Disorders: We all have a functioning style. We all have a way in which we tend to experience and perceive, a way in which we feel, think and behave. When the pattern becomes unhealthy and rigid, it is likely a personality disorder. It is unhealthy because we no longer have the freedom to chose, we make choices based on a rigid behavior or inflexible emotional and thought pattern. There are many specific types of personality disorders, such as borderline PD, obsessive PD, avoidant PD and many others.
Body Image: Schilder (1935) portrayed body image as the “picture of our own body which we form in our own minds” Body image is the way in which the body appears to ourselves. Body and identity are personally and socially constructed. Big butt, pear shape body, old looking hands,… We all have a body part to question. That body part often makes us feel not fitted to fit in. We may feel at risk of exclusion, of not being allowed to belong or to be a member of the group. After all, ugliness is associated with low intellectual capacity, lower achievement, criminal behavior and so on. All these values are spread out through our culture. The Greeks used the word stigma to refer to bodily signs that exposed something unusual and bad about the moral status. Not looking good involves a risk of not being able to move up in the world. No surprise our search for beauty. Beauty is a virtue.
Sense of Self: For Horton Cooley (1902/1922) selfhood is the result of three elements: 1) The imagination of our appearance to others; 2) Our imagination people’s judgment of our appearance; 3) The feeling that might arise from that, such as pride or mortification. He believed our sense of self was flexible and constantly being reshaped by our experiences and by the imagined effect of our reflection upon another’s mind. It is not necessary for others to actively judge our appearance. Only our assumption of others engaging in judgmental attitude towards our appearance could affect our sense of self. There is an increased attempt towards personal self-creation in today’s western society. Nevertheless, we are forever social beings. We all crave being seen, loved and even admired… and we fear it’s opposite: rejection.
Self-creation: Meaning has a social context, involves feeling and purpose that affects our sense of self. Every day we negotiate meaning and our self-value. McAdams (2008) says that the most powerful discourses of personal growth in American society tend to be individualistic self-affirming (i.e. personal liberation, recovery, atonement, self-actualization, social mobility). At times it feels like going even further: we might feel society expects us to be self-creative. While such idea might sound encouraging and safe, it is not. Self-creation is isolating. It will eventually make us extremely sensitive, and debilitating us in the long run. Humans are social creatures. We cannot do it all by ourselves. We need to interact. Being psychologically healthy is the best way of not experiencing interaction as a hard exposure. An emotionally strong person does not experience loss of self-value upon other people’s judgments.
Personhood: During social interaction people tend to look at each other’s eyes and “read” their faces, making non-verbal communication possible. In this interaction, there is a look at and a reflection. There is a holding and a taking in, a way of being someone and a way of displaying the self. It is as a liminal representation process in which the relation between self and others is put on the table and negotiated. There is a role the person plays, an image that seeks to display, and a request for others to enter into the interplay as audience. By playing audience, others are requested to pay attention and to believe. This search for gaze and belonging comes with a price.
In Greek philosophy, “person” is related to a role someone plays in society. There is no distinction of individuality other than the one that involves a place and an inter-role in society. For Skeat (1910) person, defined as “character, individual, body” and “to sound through” (p. 436), derives from Latin personne: “Mask used by an actor, a personage, a character, part played by an actor” (p. 436), a person playing a role in society. The very moment we ask a child to say “thank you” when he does not feel grateful, we are asking of him to develop a social persona apt for social norms even when this might require telling a lie.
Beauty Ideals: Beauty ideals can be impossible to reach. We don’t just have a body. In our body we display our self-feelings, our understanding of who we are and how we are placed in the world. Social ideals of beauty are not set in stone. There is a cultural dispersion in which people speak different languages and practice different styles. Thus, the ideas of beauty and virtue differ. They are constantly being reformulated and transmitted through three essential agents: parents, peers, and the media.
Parents can influence directly or indirectly. Direct influence is done by commentaries regarding body shape, child’s weight or food rules; while indirect ways involve unintended parental modeling of their own weight and dieting concerns. Peers can influence through comments or teasing regarding body shape or weight, perceived norms of engagement in peer groups, and the belief that popularity is conditional on one’s compliance with a given ideal.
Mass media such as children’s toys, fashion magazines, TV soap operas and music videos are considered the most pervasive transmitter of socio-cultural ideals of beauty both, for women and men alike. For instance, studies found that the more time men and women reported watching television, the higher their reported drive for muscularity (Boyce, Kuijer & Gleaves, 2013). The internalization of the thin ideals has been related to body dissatisfaction and eating disorders in adolescent, adult and elder adults both men and women.
Indeed, throughout history beauty has been a measurement of virtue. Beauty is what separate lesser developed human beings from those that have achieved a higher rank. Unfortunately, beauty is associated with wisdom and rational thinking; as opposed to the impulsivity of animals that strive for survival. A scar, a limp, being out of shape, any distance from beauty ideals can be a source of stigma. If beauty is a virtue, any distance from beauty ideals can be a challenge to our self-esteem.
Beauty & Belonging: Inclusion/exclusion is to categorize. To categorize one has to identify similar characteristics, decide on those to follow and differentiate those who do not count. All such operation presupposes both inclusion and exclusion. When inclusion has been idealized as the possibility that brings equality, exclusion is not. Is it possible to find a way to resist the dichotomy in which the society categorizes sex, gender, race, religion, into binary oppositions which end up being an endless list of goods vs. bads, decency vs. depravity. Indeed, the use of categories helps organize our reality and our thinking of that reality. In addition, it often involves a search for meaning and belonging. How many times we don’t feel fitted to fit in.
At times it is even more than just a body part that doesn’t quite follow the idealized type. Sometimes it has to do with the lifestyle. So we try new house, perfect neighborhood, going to the gym, reading the right books, keeping a hairstyle and the proper nail trims,… Ugh, how tiresome! Looks and fashion are always changing. People not only live within a group, but also in contrast to other groups or social conventions. For admittance into a group, there are specific referential codes required by the individual. A motivated businessperson from Wall Street most likely will wear a suit and tie to go to work. The people they work for might find difficult to relate to -or even distrusting-, if s/he shows up at the office wearing a punk look. In the social imaginary, punks know more about motorcycles than they do about the stock market.
Is it possible to meet the ideal? Is trying to reach the ideal making us feel bad? Where do we draw the line?
Part of building our happy place has to do with learning to be satisfied with who we are.